Business & Career Uses of Linkedin – Martin Brossman

Understanding Linkedin both for business and your career, managed by Martin Brossman

Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Top 10 Reasons You Should NOT be on LinkedIn

Posted by Martin Brossman on 08/09/2009

They may not need Linkedin

They may not need Linkedin

Top 10 Reasons You Should NOT be on LinkedIn – Compiled by Martin Brossman (a bit of humor and a serious message)

1. You believe someone might steal your soul if you post a photo, and before a large rain you have to add more straw to your roof.
2. You’ve faked your own death or think you ARE Elvis.
3. You dislike people, you hate business, The term ‘networking’ makes you cringe and people you haven’t met yet are evil who eat strange food and live in enemy states.
4. You don’t, nor never will, have, any reason to build your business, meet other like minded-professionals, find clients, or need a job.
5. You named any of your children for your favorite beer, you mispelled you girlfriend’s name on your Tattoo, and are annoyed by the doctor who showed you all those dirty pictures in the ink blot test.
6. You are in the witness protection program and a guy named Godfather is trying to connect to you on Linkedin to resolve some unfinished business.
7. If you divorce your wife, you are wondering if she will still be your sister.
8. You spent 10 years in jail and were never inmate of the month.
9. You have a six figure income and when you are laid off you would like to be forced to get rid of all your belongings due to lack of connections for new employment.
10. You feel other people waste time and misuse the internet, so you’ve decided not to be on at all.

Thanks for all who contributed, and if we truly offended anyone, I apologize. It was done with good intentions. There were so many great ones it was hard to choose. Maybe more to follow. You can see all of them at the original question link:
http://www.linkedin.com/answers/using-linkedIn/ULI/526241-548650

Remember: Friends make sure their Friends are on LinkedIn, if they care about them!

Special thanks to the following specific people: Thanks Judy B. Margolis, MA – Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/judymargolis2009 who inspired #2; Thanks Rob Duncan – Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/robduncan who inspired #3; Thanks Kristen Fife – Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/kmfife who inspired #4; Thanks Anthony Sutcliffe – Linkedin http://www.linkedin.com/pub/anthony-sutcliffe/4/32/5a4 who inspired #5

Martin Brossman – Success Coach/ Trainer / Auther – www.ProNetworkingOnLine.com

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